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More on Reframing
We talked last week about the power of "reframing" events in your life for greatest
success, turning a negative event into a positive learning experience.
This tool is so powerful that I want to add to it this week.
When we spoke last week, we talked about the fact that how we view events in
our life is our choice. This sounds easy when someone else says it, and
we may even say it to others. However, when things aren't going well in
our own lives, it isn't quite so easy to do!
So today, I want to talk about a very concrete tool that will assist you in reframing
even the most difficult situations into ones that you can learn from, grow from
and even find humor in.
Think of a situation that is either currently going on, or has occurred recently
enough that you still have an emotion about it when you think about it. It might
have been an assignment at work gone bad, a tough day with the kids at home,
a promotion at work that you didn't receive, or getting on the scale after a
week on a diet and finding you've gained weight. Write down the event and
how you feel about it or felt about it at the time it occurred. Give that
feeling a short label, such as "defeated, angry, hurt, shut down, furious, scared,
terrified...".
Now, step back from personal involvement in the situation. Act as if this
was happening to a character on TV or in a book. Certainly, it is someone
else, not you, who is going through this. If you were the author, or script
writer, what options would you have for how they would handle your situation?
Dig deep here, and come up with at least 5 other emotions or feelings they could
have, some may be as negative as your original response or positive, or even
funny. Since this isn't you having to handle this situation this way, you
are free to come up with scenarios outside your current comfort zone.
For example, we looked at getting laid off last week as a potential situation
to reframe. One's initial reaction is usually panic, or fear, when hearing
of an impending layoff. What are other ways of viewing this scenario?
One could be:
- Angry about the need to look for a new job and the loss of a secure income,
- Anxious about where the money will come from in the future,
- Feeling free and excited to leave the current company and find a better job with another company,
- Motivated to get that education you've been wanting,
- Free to take time to visit friends or relatives before moving on,
- Looking forward to the opportunity to change your work hours or type of job, or
- Thankful that the company has made the decision to leave an easy one, as you may have never left the old one on your own.
It's usually fairly easy to come up with at least 5 different versions of reactions
to a situation using this method. Once you have completed your list, you
get to choose how you will look at your situation from here on out!
Which view serves you best? Certainly fear, anxiety and anger are not emotions
that serve you well. They hold you back from seeing the positive, from moving
to solutions in your life, from being powerful. This type of exercise is
invaluable when faced with a situation in your life when you are feeling less
than powerful!
Choose always to frame your life situations in the most positive manner possible.
When you are looking for the positive in what life gives you, your reticular activating
system, your RAS, will find positive things making you personally powerful!
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