|
Do you have vandals in your head?
As we have talked about getting out of your comfort zone and taking risks, you
may have heard a voice within you saying things like, "You can't do that", or
"why start, you never follow through," or similar negative messages.
These "inner critics" are more vocal for some of us than others, but we all have
them. Research shows that most people have a running conversation in their
head at the rate of 500-600 words per minute. Most of which is negative
or neutral. It's a rare person that supports themselves positively through
their self- talk.
Why do most of us have this negative self-talk going on in our heads? They
do serve a purpose, to protect us from harm and can motivate us, although not
necessarily in a positive way. The "inner critic" or what I call "vandals"
are usually unconscious in our minds….we allow them to talk to us as though they
were telling us the truth, and rarely check their validity.
Where do these "vandals" come from? They are frequently left over lessons
learned in our childhood or early adult life. I remember being in high school
and having my physical education teacher tell me, in front of the entire class,
that I wasn't any good at running or anything athletic. I was devastated!
I didn't know I wasn't any good at running until she told me so! I took
that as fact, even though it wasn't totally true. I wasn't very good at
the time, I will admit. However, I could have learned to run faster, and
have been a better athlete. I didn't, because I believed it to be true, and listened
to her voice over and over again in my head telling me I couldn't do it.
You may have had other comments or lessons learned in your youth, or throughout
your adulthood, that are still rolling around in your head, negatively affecting
your success, and not even be consciously aware of them! If you've ever
lost a job, been in an unsuccessful relationship, or failed at any task, the vandals,
if left unchecked, become so loud you can't hear anything else over them.
They keep you from taking the next step to gain success in your life, and frequently
are more the cause of the next failure than your actual level of skill.
So, what to do about the vandals? First of all, be aware that they are there!
And that they may NOT be telling you the truth about the situation. Second,
take power over the thoughts that you allow in your head! When you become
aware of a vandalous thought, check it for accuracy - is it true?, does it have
to be true?, is there any way you can see yourself being successful in the situation?
If so, take the third step, begin to consciously direct your thoughts in a positive
manner. Consciously think of statements to counteract the vandals, to set
a new belief in your mind. For instance, with the running vandal as I call
it, I consciously set a new belief in mind, that I CAN be athletic, and I CAN
and WILL learn to work out in a method that fits me best. Now that's a lot
more powerful to me than the old voice that said I was so terrible at athletics!
Step four, write your statements down, and read them over and over for more powerful
results. Do this daily, or several times a day, for as long as you keep
hearing the vandals. I put them on stickee notes on my bathroom mirror,
on my computer, anywhere I'll see them often. You CAN kick out the vandals
that hold you back from success…it just takes focus, and remaining conscious of
what you are saying to yourself!
|
